Chapter 19
He had rejected her, saved her from death, and now, when she was broken and helpless, he would send her away, back to the nightmare.
You should have let me die. She wanted to say it, wanted to tell him she would never forgive him for saving her only to send her away. You were supposed to be different. You were supposed to be my mate. I hate you. I hate you.
Those words never went past her thoughts, but a small moan slipped from her lips, and a single tear rolled from the corner of her closed eye. The person standing over her noticed it and clenched his fist before turning away and leaving her.
Viola had no idea how long she remained bedridden and unable to move any of her limbs or speak. What she knew was that he never came back again after that day, and her subconscious longed for his presence more than she ever would have wanted to admit or want for herself.
Many times, she was vaguely aware of being cleaned and fed warm soups through a straw. But she couldn’t open her eyes. One time, the doctor had spoken aloud near her, saying her eyes were swollen due to the blood that had gathered inside them and that she might not be able to see clearly again without the aid of glasses or surgery.
The doctor talked to her calmly and explained that they couldn’t operate on her eyes because they didn’t have specialized eye doctors in the werewolves’ world. Werewolves were known to never have problems with eyesight, not even omegas, so such medicine had never been prioritized.
“You will be fine,” the doctor had reassured her gently. “Once you recover from everything else, the Alpha will handle the rest, or so I am told p>
If only he knew her least worry at that moment was her eyes. Though she feared that once she opened them she might not be able to see again and would become completely helpless, she was far more worried that once she recovered, she would be thrown out, back to where she had been before, where beatings and humiliation were the only constants of her life.
Whenever she thought about that pain, a deep anxiety crept into her heart and lungs until breathing became difficult, as if something heavy was pressing down on her chest.
Days passed, and when Viola finally managed to open her eyes after the swelling had lessened, she saw nothing at first but pure white. Her fingers clenched tightly around the sheets. Seconds ticked by, and the whiteness in one eye slowly cleared into a blurry haze where she could make out shapes and vague outlines, however her right eye never cleared at all.
She was surprised she wasn’t completely blind after everything her eyes had endured. She couldn’t help but feel grateful that she hadn’t lost the sight in her left eye entirely.
For how long had she been here? It felt like forever, a stretch of time where the pain had been endless, yet now she could feel things beyond the dull soreness and lingering aches in her body.
She could feel the soft mattress beneath her and the pillow supporting her head, and it made her painfully aware that this was the first time she had laid on a proper bed in four years.
For four years, she had slept on hard floors with no sheets and no pillow. Despite the ache still clinging to her body, she found herself breathing in air that didn’t smell of unwashed bodies or urine for the first time. Though it carried the sharp scent of medicine, it was still pleasant to her, and she wished she could see clearly what the place around her looked like.
However, what was the use of seeing it clearly when she knew the moment that heartless Kade realized she was conscious and regaining her strength, she would be thrown out like trash?
Though she didn’t want his half-handed kindness, which she knew it stemmed from the bond of being mates, a bond he had rejected and made clear he didn’t want. Still, she would have clung to it if she could, because when someone is stripped of dignity the way she had been, they would accept anything as long as no beating was involved.
She despised him more than she already despised her own life, yet if he sent her away, she would be doomed forever. Viola was a prideful person, but what use was pride when you had nothing?
When life had brought you down to your knees? When a single meal felt like a miracle if it stayed in your stomach? Only someone without sense would still cling to pride and dignity in her situation, and Viola was no senseless person. She knew what she wanted, and she would get it at all costs.
All her life, she had been raised to see herself above others, to look down on those beneath her without ever considering what they were going through. Now she knew, because she hadn’t just tasted that life, she had lived something far worse than theirs.
Her insides twisted painfully as she imagined the life Ivy must be living now because of her. Oh Goddess, I have wronged her so much. If she was going through this hell, what could her twin, who hadn’t been adopted, or rather, who she had turned away from, be enduring now for being wolfless?
’We are stronger together Ivy had once said.
The thought of her twin suffering even worse than she had, without a wolf, trapped in that place that had already been hell when they were children, made her feel sick and nauseous. Regret and self-loathing gripped her so tightly she wished she had died instead of waking up as a helpless nobody with no power to help or redeem a past mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her miserable life.
Viola’s throat burned so badly she wanted to burst into tears, but with the rawness of her healing throat, she couldn’t. She clenched her fingers into the sheets and swallowed down the deep remorse.
I have to make it right, she told herself, and the answer of how she would do that struck her immediately.
She knew it then just as surely as she knew the life she had known before was over, that she would do anything to rise to power and find Ivy, to make things right, and to make people pay.
She would do anything, even if it meant speaking to the man she had discovered she hated. He was her only hope, her only way to gain power. Alpha Sebastian Kade. He was the key to making everything right.
How she was going to do that was still unknown to her.
But before he sent her away, she needed to see him and have a word with him.
With that resolve burning inside her, Viola began to focus on getting better as quickly as she could, forcing herself to practice speaking again despite the pain, determined to regain her strength before it was too late.