Chapter 281
Chapter 281
FAYE
I closed the bathroom door behind me and flicked on the light.
Nothing felt urgent. That, in itself, was noticeable.
I turned on the tap and adjusted the temperature until steam started to rise, then left the water running as I undressed. By the time the tub was ready, my mind had already slowed down, slipping out of the constant alertness I carried most of the day.
I stepped in carefully and lowered myself into the water, letting out a quiet breath as the heat settled around me.
This was good.
I leaned back, resting my head against the edge of the tub, my eyes drifting shut.
For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like my life was falling apart. Nothing was actively hurting. There was no immediate problem demanding attention.
For a long time, I’d felt like I was always preparing for something–bracing, adjusting, anticipating. As if peace were temporary and needed justification.
Sitting here now, I realized how long it had been since I’d just existed without trying to measure myself against something.
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.
I used to overthink different things… like the fact that I had gifts. Things people whispered about with awe or curiosity. Abilities that made me different, that set me apart.
They were real.
But most days, they weren’t needed.
The pack didn’t wake up needing magic. They needed structure, stability, routine, leadership- things that didn’t always require what I carried inside me.
And I’d come to understand something important: being powerful didn’t automatically mean being essential in every moment.
That didn’t make me useless.
It just made me… normal, like everyone else.
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Chapter 281
I shifted slightly in the tub, letting the water move around me.
+25 Points
I was Luna. The title came with expectations, but also with a strange kind of invisibility. When things ran smoothly, no one questioned it. When things went wrong, everyone looked to
Alexander.
That made sense. He was Alpha. He held that role naturally, comfortably, the way some people carried authority without effort.
I didn’t resent that.
What I struggled with was the quiet voice in my head that kept asking where I fit beside him when there was no crisis to manage.
Not below him. Not behind him.
Beside him.
I loved him deeply. That part was simple. Loving Alexander didn’t require thought or effort. It just existed.
But enjoying that love without tying it to purpose or contribution had been harder.
Somewhere along the way, without fully realizing it, I’d started believing that my place would feel more secure if I gave him an heir.
The thought hadn’t come from desperation. It had come from logic. Packs valued continuity. An Alpha’s legacy mattered. A child felt like something solid, undeniable… proof that I had
fulfilled a role no one else could take from me.
For a while, that idea had made me feel steady.
Losing the child had shattered more than just that future. In the quiet aftermath, when there was nothing left to plan around or hope toward, I’d been forced to sit with an uncomfortable
truth.
I had tied too much of my worth to that one possibility.
Not because I wanted to be loved more.
But because I wanted to feel unquestionable.
And when that path was taken from me, it became clear how much weight I’d placed on it… how tightly I’d wrapped my value around something that had never been meant to carry it alone.
I exhaled slowly and reached for the soap, washing without rush.
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+25 Points
I’d spent so much time trying to define my place–with the pack, with my mate, with myself- that I hadn’t noticed how much pressure I’d been putting on everything.
Now, sitting here, I let myself see it all.
Maybe the problem wasn’t that I lacked a place.
Maybe I’d been trying to force meaning instead of letting it grow.
The realization, the acceptance, felt… relieving.
I rested my arms along the edge of the tub and let my shoulders sink.
I didn’t have to earn my right to be here every day.
I didn’t have to justify my existence through constant contribution.
The Goddess hadn’t blessed me with this life just to watch me exhaust myself trying to prove I deserved it.
I had a pack that trusted me.
I had a mate who respected my space without withdrawing his care. He made sure I had whatever I could possibly need even before I asked.
I had survived loss and fear and uncertainty, and I was still standing in the middle of a life many people would pray for.
And instead of enjoying it, I’d been quietly holding my breath.
I smiled faintly at the thought.
I rinsed the soap from my skin, watching the water ripple and settle again.
Maybe it was time to stop waiting for a moment where everything made sense all at once.
Maybe it was enough to live inside the life I already had–to show up, to care, to love, without constantly asking myself what I was supposed to become next.
I didn’t need to fill every silence.
I didn’t need to chase certainty.
Some things would fall into place on their own if I let them.
I leaned back again, my eyes closing, my breathing slow and even.
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< Chapter 281
+25 Points
I stepped out of the tub and reached for the towel, wrapping it around myself as I dried off slowly. My skin still held the warmth of the water, my muscles loose in a way they hadn’t been earlier.
I had just taken a few steps into the room when there was a knock.
“ Come in,” I said.
The door opened and Martha stepped in, careful as always, carrying a small tray. A bowl of soup sat neatly in the center, steam still rising faintly. The smell reached me immediately- familiar, herbal, unmistakable.
Mrs. Adams‘ recipe.
Martha smiled softly as she walked closer. “I brought you your soup, Luna p>
I nodded and moved aside so she could set it down. “Thank you p>
She placed the tray on the small table near the window, adjusting it as if alignment mattered. She hesitated for half a second, then added, “Mrs. Adams said you have to finish all of it this time p>
Her tone was dutiful… Passing along instructions she’d been given.
“I know, ” I said gently.
I walked over and looked down at the bowl. I had been drinking versions of that soup for days now. Different herbs, slightly altered combinations, all meant to do the same thing. I’d explained more than once that I was fine.
But well–meaning concern had a way of ignoring reassurance.
I turned to Martha. “You don’t have to keep making this anymore p>
She blinked, surprised. “Are you sure, Luna p>
“Yes,” I said calmly, “I appreciate it. Truly. But you can stop p>
She searched my face briefly, as if expecting uncertainty or second thoughts. When she found none, she simply nodded.
“Alright,” she said.
She turned and left the room quietly, closing the door behind her.
I stood there for a moment, still wrapped in the towel, listening to the silence settle again.
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Then I looked back at the soup.
+25 Points
It wasn’t the bowl itself that bothered me. It was what it represented–the assumption that I needed fixing, that I was still in recovery.
I picked up the tray and moved it aside.
I wasn’t ungrateful…I was just tired of it.
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